Ready, get set...GOOOOO!!!

Hullow...wah, few days juga I tak sempat nak post anything to this page. So sorry...I've been busy. Last two days, I shifted to R&D department...it will be my new place to work. U guys already knew that I'm working on this new mag that will be in the market early next year, probably on January. Although the time seems so far, tapi sebenarnya memang tak cukup time. To publish a magazine especially similar to it's kind, memang it's risky. Tambahan, sekarang krisis harga minyak n barang, memang it's a risk to come out with a new magazine. Hopefully, early next year semua orang akan settle down dan ekonomi akan kembali pulih...Insya Allah, amin...

For the actual mock up, me n Farah (my acting editor) only have 4 weeks to settle all the 11 sections...sounds very freaky kan tapi itulah hakikatnya. By hook or by crook, memang kena siapkan. Bukan keje cincai tau, tapi betul2 keje yang seperi mahu publish. The mock up is for the advertisers, hopefully ada la advertiser yang gempak nak masuk adv...Insya Allah!!! Wish me luck everybody!

Happy 1st Anniversary...

16 June 2007, a year ago, 11 am, tengah berdebar menanti untuk bergelar isteri. Acara akad nikah yang berlangsung di rumah memang sangat meriah namun mendebarkan jugak la...bila sah bergelar isteri, airmata tanpa disuruh-suruh jatuh berlinangan...adoi...sayu tau!!!

Dah a year jadi seorang isteri and 3 mths bergelar mommy...memang my life banyak different nya, banyak perubahan yang perlu dibuat dan banyak pula memerlukan pengorbanan yang besar. What I can say...I'm truly happy. This is what makes my life complete...my hubby n my baby completed me...Thanks ayang n Hannah...

To my hubby...Happy 1st Anniversary...moga our love will stay fresh forever, eternity...Love you!!!

Happy Daddy's Day Shayang!!!

Wow...15 Jun ni adalah Father's Day. I'm sure that my hubby will be very excited about it. Maklumlah, first time menyambutnya setelah ada baby on d 25th March lalu...Actually, I'm planning a surprise for him, it's from me n Hannah...it will be a blast...*wink*

Last May, I celebrated Mommy's Day...my hubby gave me a treat dekat Pakeeza, we had dinner together (with Hannah jugak)...memang best. First time celebrated Mother's Day, wowww....d feeling memang different dari sambutan B Day, anniversarry or even Valentine's Day...rasa cam best jadi mommy..vogue lagi!!! *wink*

Anyway, Happy Father's Day sayang...moga boleh jadi daddy yang cool, bertanggungjawab and fun to be with..."Daddy...Happy Father's Day...I love u..."- Khayra Hannah

Hello Club 20's

Hye...watch out girls, there will be a new magazine in the market cater only for the 20s til mid 30s. It's an urban magazine that give u informations about fashion & style, beauty, health & diet, celebrity and also lifestyle...the best part is, this magazine will be in malay...check it out!!!

Inilah realitinya...

Hello...I'm using blue font because I'm totally in blue since yesterday. I rather not say that I'm not happy with my life, but things arent working as it should be. Actually bukan mudah bergelar seorang isteri, setiap apa yang kita rasa walaupun diluahkan ia tetap akan kekal menjadi kata-kata...ia tidak akan diendahkan. I'm just very sad sebab tak pernah sangka yang I'm going to face all the problem that my sisters facing tentang ibu dan ibu mentua. Nak tak nak, kita akan tetap berdepan dengan kuasa veto seorang suami yang akan memenangkan setiap keluarganya dan akan menjadikan kita terpaksa melukakan hati keluarga sendiri. Yes...I'm very sad, very, very sad sampai tak lena tidur semalam, pagi ni mata bengkak kerana sampai pagi ini saya masih belum stop menangis.

I gave my very best to semarakkan this marriage tapi kalau hanya seorang yang menggerakkannya memang tidak berjalan. Akhirnya, kita akan menjadi seperti lilin, mahu menerangkan orang lain terpaksa membakar diri. I remembered every occasion, every important dates and try to cheer him up dengan surprises...tapi, I never get anything yang akan cheer me up...even on my bday...he just lupa to wish...

Adil? Mana ada hidup ini adil...? Memang tiada...saya terpaksa memendam rasa, saya tidak mahu meluahkannya lagi...cukup la saya telan satu persatu...dia fikir dia terluka dengan keluarga saya...sedangkan dari dulu saya memang sangat terluka dengan sikap keluarganya...saya tidak akan lupa setiap tuduhan dan fitnah...saya tidak akan lupa setiap kata-kata...dan perbuatan yang melukakan...namun, pernahkan saya meletakkan syarat mahupun membuang keluarganya jauh-jauh...tidak pernah malahan saya selalu memaafkan, cuba mendekatkan diri dan merapatkan hubungan antara kami...tapi, apa yang dia buat? Meminta saya untuk membuang ibu hanya kerana dia terluka dengan satu dua perkara yang boleh dimaafkan, ibunya pun melakukan perkara yang sama namun saya tidak pula membuangnya. Saya sedar diri saya...

Hannah @ nursery....

Hello...It's been a week sice I started work after my confinement leave. Memang liat sangat to go back to work but apa nak buat, cari rezeki untuk family and bantu suami. Memang rasa lost bila hantar Hannah ke nursery in the morning. She was asleep, memang lena and rasa sayu hati je bila letak dia di tilam and meletakkan amanah kepada teacher (panggilan penjaga nursery) untuk jaga dia. Tambahan, last nite Hannah betul2 panicked kan me n my hubby bila dia sesak nafas. She catched flu and suddenly at 1am, dia sesak nafas. I was alone with her kat rumah and I called my hubby kat studio...he rushed home, I think the journey home from his studio @ Kelana Jaya only took him 20 mins...memang laju.

We took Hannah to the nearest polyclinic but they don't have the suction machine...so, we rushed to DEMC, Shah Alam...they put the nabiliser on her and around 10 mins, Hannah dah okey...she smiled after dah okay and as usually, craved for milk...she gave me a fright bila jadi macam tu and the thought of I'm gonna lose my daughter really crossed my mind...fuh, lega tgk dia senyum. Hannah...Hannah, jangan buat mommy& daddy risau lagi tau...

First day @ work and also without Hannah, memang tak best. I miss my daughter very much. I went to see her during lunch time but dia tidur. Petang around 6.30pm, I went n fetched her @ nursery, at first dia okey. Bila masu kereta and sitted her @ her car seat. Half of the journey home, she started to cry...bukan meraung tapi menangis sayu sangat, macam merajuk. She was merajuk and jauh hati becoz kami hantar ke nursery...I stopped tepi highway and pujuk dia, dukung dia, kissed her...about 15 mins jugak then I put her back at her seat. I hold her hands and pandang muka dia...I said to my baby girl," Mommy sayang Hannah sangat2, but I have to go to work, Daddy pun kena kerja, semuanya for Hannah, to give you a comfortable life If I've given a chance to choose between my work and you, I choose you, sayang. Tak perlu ada pilihan sebab mommy akan tetap choose Hannah. I love you so much and I hope you understand our situation..."and siapa kat baby tak faham...she did understand because she smiled at me, hold my hand tight and then slept with my one of my hand on her chest...I cried along the way home sebab sayu hati dengan situasi tadi. I'm touched by my daughter's reaction, really...she's smart, sensitive and the best part is...dia sayang mommy dia....adoi...sweetnya...

A new love...

Hey....I am a mommy now...on d 25th of March 2008 @12.52 noon, I'm officially a mommy to baby Khayra Hannah. Setelah hampir 38 weeks of cramp feet, headache and back pain, akhirnya bersalin juga di DEMC, Shah Alam. Lega? Memang sangat melegakan tapi at d same time, I'm very nervous of being a new mommy. Well...who said comfinement is a long vacation for mommies..it's not, definitely. 2 months 'vacation' but u r losing sleeps, breast bruised, bottles and milk spilt...everything is out of place and the routine changed. That's what I called baby on board...:)

But, i actually enjoyed the moment although at first it was quite a bitter experience for me...it's a normal feeling for a new mommy when d thought of losing ur hubby's attention appeared. But after few weeks, d feeling is totally different. It's like falling in love again and it's like receiving a gift from God...precious gift definitely...I totally in it..I'm totally a mommy...

Khayra Hannah bt Zafri...she's now 2 months, 10 days old...she's adorable, not because she's my daughter but seriously, she is...:)it feels like heaven when she smiled, laughed at my silly jokes and out of tune song...ahahahaha...but I know, a day without her is like losing half of my life.

Memang happy sangat life dapat baby...time pun fully used, everything pun kerana Hannah (panggilan manja dia). Nama Khayra Hannah pun hasil gabungan kami berdua...ada argument, mesti tapi akhirnya kami bersetuju dengan nama tu...maknanya, bunga/gadis yang penuh kasih sayang. A perfect name for anak sulung...wah...ada plan nak tambah lagi ke? Mestilah, nak tambah umat Islam...ahahahaha...

HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY TO MY HUBBY, ZAFRI NAZARUDDIN...I LOVE U YANG...